Sunday, September 03, 2006

House of Wax

Wow! What a whirlwind day. This "Derailed" blog thing has really taken off. One of my readers invited me over to her estate on 42nd St. for a dinner party. I wasn't in the door more than two minutes when Larry King accosted me.

"Hey Conductor to the Stars!"

"Hey Larry!"

"What brings you here?"

"The lady who owns this joint reads my blog, I think her name is Madame Tussaud, anyway she says she loves my stuff and she invited me over to hobnob with "the beautiful people. "

"Well we're pleased to have you here. Ya know... I hear good things about 'Derailed.' I hear book deal. I hear movie deal."

"Yeah Larry...From your lips to God's ears."

"No, really! Woody and I were just talking about you. I think he has something in mind. You should go over and talk to him. He's sitting over there in the corner."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained... I guess. Thanks Larry! Oh, by the way...You need a mint!"

"Woody...Woodman...Woodster! Woody, I love ya babe."

"Well then... you're the only one. Ever since the Soon-Yi thing, I've become a parhia at these parties. Yoko Ono gets a better reception than me!"

"Well then, I guess we'll have plenty of time to talk. Larry King tells me you're thinking of developing a project around "Derailed." Is that true?

"I'm very interested. In fact I was just trying to convince Robin Williams to portray you.

"Woodman, Ya know I love ya, but I really don't think Robin and I look anything alike.

I really have someone else in mind. Someone who can better capture my soul. Someone like...

"No really Sam. I think you'd be perfect for the part!

I wasn't at the party long when I started to hear people muttering things like: "That's HIM!" and "Conductor to the Stars" and "Movie deal." Before I knew it, I was surrounded.

"Julia baby, don't embarrass yourself. I'm a married man!"

"I'M HOT! Oh I bet you say that to all the boys."

"Wow, I must be hot. I even met Baby Suri."

"Baby, I don't know if 'Chicken of The Sea' is chicken or tuna either. What I do know... is that you'd be perfect as my wife (In the movie of course!) Have your girl call my girl. We'll do lunch!


Anonymous said...

How much $$$$ is that picture of Suri worth?

Anonymous said...

HEY, that's not Suri! I'd know my daughter Shiloh anywhere!!! Who are you, you creep???

Anonymous said...

That was the lamest entry you have ever done Go back to telling stories about your dad getting electrocuted

Bobby said...

Wow! Now I'm getting heckled by my passengers.

You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the famous Abraham Lincoln quote go...

"You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."


wraap8 said...

Red-----did you hit your head?

Anonymous said...

ohh...bobby...i thought it was cute!!:) you had me for about 2 you, Little Kelly

Anonymous said...

What!? No Mel Gibson at the party!

Anonymous said...

Who's the guy who said the blog was lame? Don't talk about my Daddy like that! (Don't dl)

Anonymous said...

I just want to state for the record that I LOVE this post. So there.

Anonymous said... are TRULY a character!! You just proved the top secret study that has been conducted, proving a link between the craziness of NH Line workers and the magnetic fields produced by catenary wires!! (By the way, you and Jessica look good together!!) :-D

Anonymous said...

You need to post more often. You are a gifted writer and should really think about writing a book. There are lots of Irish Catholics who would appreciate your musings.

Who would have thought little Bobby McDonough ... all grown up!!

Anonymous said...

Did Bobby grow up?? Hmmm...I think at one time he was mature, but catenary wire magnetic fields made him regress beyond any professional help!!