Monday, January 26, 2015

Snow Job!

So, I'm snowed in during a blizzard with nothing to do...and I started thinking about this poor neglected blog.  I'm sorry that I haven't written much, but it seems I get most of my writing frustration out on facebook now.  So, for those of you out there who aren't my facebook friend but still want to know what's happening in "The Conductor to The Stars" life,  I give you some of my recent facebook status updates:

24 January 2015

Three college girls with bloodshot eyes got on my train tonight. They all reeked of cannabis. I explained (no less than six times) that they had to transfer trains to get to Fordham, but their stoned brains couldn't grasp the concept of transferring to another train. I was starting to get a contact high, so I finally asked..."Have you girls been smoking pot tonight?" They all denied it, but their orange Cheetos stained fingers, and several empty strewn bags of Chips Ahoy told a different story. The next time I walked by them, they had sprayed cheap perfume on themselves. Now they smelled like cheap perfume AND pot. Not a good combo.

17 January 2015

So, this happened tonight:
Me: Tickets please...(now reading the young guy's college ID)... "Mr. Trepod."
Him: Here you go conductor (hands over ticket).
Me: "Trepod"...kind of like tripod.
Him: Yeah, that's what all the girls tell me....
Me: Well played sir, well played.  I bet you use that line all the time.

Him: Not enough.
30 December 2014

You can almost see Sting thinking..."Don't stand so...Don't stand so...Don't stand so close to me.

Yes, one of the joys of being a railroad conductor is having friends in high places...mostly the Broadway Theatre catwalks.  Over the years I have befriended several Broadway stagehands, and they are great at hooking me up with backstage tours when I visit a show.  On this night, my family and I saw "The Last Ship" which starred Sting (he also wrote the musical score).  I saw him on stage before the show
and asked if he'd take a photo with me.  He was a little reluctant, but he enthusiastically took a photo with my wife and daughters.  He even took his hat off for them.

27 November 2014

Happy Thanksgiving to all!  Let the; "Hey! You look just like the Conductor from The Polar Express" season begin.

24 November 2014
Note to self: Never go to Shoprite on a Tuesday, which is "Senior Day"...especially on the day before a snow storm...two days before Thanksgiving....again. It was like shopping in God's waiting room.

8 November 2014
Conductor Bobby's tip of the day: Hey Kids! When it's 2AM and you are so drunk that you can barely walk, stumbling home in the middle of the tracks is not your best option. Take the 18 -year old doofus we nearly ran over on my train early this morning. I had to climb off my train and give him a stern talking to. After ten minutes of negotiating, doofus finally agreed to climb aboard our train and we carried him to the safety of the waiting arms of the MTA police in Stamford. Don't be like a friend, call a cab, walk home along the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut.

20 October 2014
I met comedian Jim Gaffigan tonight at a book signing for his new book, "Food" at Barnes and Noble at Union Square, NYC. He is portraying my father in the upcoming Michael Almereyda Film called "Experimenter." It's about behavioral psychologist Stanley Milgram and my father's participation acting as "The Learner/Victim" in the infamous 1961/62 experiments done at Yale University.  The film premieres at The Sundance Film Festival January 25, 2015.

03 October 2014

It's not often that a McDonough passes a bar. Congratulations to my niece, Attorney Emily McDonough!