Friday, February 02, 2007

The Exorcist Part I- The Nightmare Begins

On Monday night, my wife made a new recipe called a Taco Bake. It is basically Kraft macaroni and cheese mixed with ground beef and taco seasoning. I found it tasty and decided to get a second helping before sitting down in front of the computer and writing a new post for this blog. I had good intentions of writing a story about the time I met the actress Linda Blair (Regan MacNeal from The Exorcist) on my train, but I was distracted by the television, which is in the same room as the computer. My wife and daughters were watching the latest episode of “Supernanny,” in which a four-year-old dictator named Sean (a demon child) was shown cussing, crying, whining, hitting, kicking , spitting, punching, biting, and in general just being plain evil. His police officer father, and ER nurse mother didn’t have a clue what to do with him, so…they did nothing. Before the show ended, “Supernanny” had changed Sean from a lion into a lamb, all within the coveted 9-10pm time slot.

As I drifted off to sleep that night, I thought about the night's events. I was impressed by how wise Supernanny had been. I then thought about how tasty the Taco Bake was. Next, I regretted not finding time to write The Linda Blair story, but I figured I’d save it for another day, and then...I drifted off to sleep.

That evening I had the strangest dream:
(imagine screen going wavy for a dream sequence.)

Supernanny Jo is called to the home of Regan, a little girl that is possessed by the devil. Regan’s mother leads Supernanny into the little girl’s bedroom, and finds that her bed is levita
ting three feet off the ground.

Supernanny: (British accent) What’s this then?

Regan: GET OUT!!!

Supernanny: Regan, you’ve been a very naughty girl. It’s time to go to the naughty chair.

Regan: Your mother is a #$%*

Suppernanny Jo pulls Regan out of the bed and places her in the naughty chair. Regan’s face is full of pustules and her head twists in a 360 degree turn.

Supernanny: Aye, you’re a clever one aren’t you? Are you ready to say sorry?

Regan: Eat #$%! (Spews pea soup in supernanny’s face.)

It was about this time that I woke up. I guess I’ll never know if Supernanny was able to exorcise Regan’s demons, or if like the priest in the movie, she gets thrown out of the window. I do know, however, that you should never eat Mexican food before bedtime.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"The Exorcist" still scares me to death, no matter than I've seen it 1,000 times. Anyone who says it doesn't scare them - they are lying.