Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Exorcist Part II- The Night Stalker

Whenever I approach a celebrity on the train, I try to use an original opening line. For example- the first time I met Jessica Tandy, I said something like-“Wow! Now I can tell everybody that I drove Miss Daisy.” She and her husband, actor Hume Cronyn, gave me a polite smiles, but I had the feeling that they thought I was a jerk.

I once had the legendary actress, Eva Marie Saint on my train. When I saw her, I said something like: “Here I am in Grand Central with Eva Marie Saint. I feel like Cary Grant in “North by Northwest.” Eva gave me a wary smile, but her children (who are about my age) thought it was a laugh riot.

One night, about ten years ago, I had "The Exorcist actress, Linda Blair on my train. I saw her seated in the distance and I immediately began searching my mind’s database for a good Linda Blair opening line. It went something like this:

Linda Blair- Search (Gears in my brain turning):

Spinning headNope, too corny.
Pea soupNope, too cliché.
Shared BirthdayBingo!

When I collected her ticket I said:

“Ms. Blair, do you know that we share the same birthday?”

“WE DO?” She seemed genuinely thrilled.

“Yes we do.”

“How do you know my birthday?”

“I don’t know. I think Jeanne Dixon, Joyce Jillson or Sidney Omarr told me. You know...”

Birthday Horoscope- If January 22nd is your birthday: 2007 will be a year of change for you, but don’t worry Aquarius, you'll always land on your feet. Celebrities that share your birthday: Diane Lane, Michael Hutchense, Linda Blair, George Foreman, Sam Cooke, Bill Bixby, Lord Byron, Francis Bacon.

“Well, I’m flattered that you remembered.”

“You know, I’ve spent the last couple of minutes trying to think of something witty to say to you. I thought of making a joke about your head spinning, or something about you spewing pea soup, but I figured that you’ve heard em’ all.

“You’re right…I have.”

That was about the extent of our conversation, but I think I won her over with the whole birthday thing. When she got off the train she smiled, and gave me a big wave goodbye.
When I got home from work that night I told my wife about meeting Linda Blair, and how I told her about our shared birthday.

You told her that you know when her birthday is?” My wife asked incredulously.


“Oh great. Now she probably thinks that you’re a stalker.”

“No. It wasn’t like that at all. I told her that I knew her birthday from the horoscopes in the newspaper. She seemed genuinely thrilled.”

“Yeah, right. She’s probably already has a restraining order against you.”

Now my head was spinning.


Anonymous said...

A very entertaining blog. Keep it up.

Tony Alva said...

I think Norm Peterson of Cheers said it best, "Women: can't live with'em, pass the beer nuts..."