Wednesday, December 13, 2006

For want of a nail

For want of a nail, the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe, the horse was lost.
For want of a horse, the rider was lost.
For want of a rider, the battle was lost.
For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

The above poem is an old English nursery rhyme that warned children of the consequences of one thoughtless act. In this poem, a blacksmith doesn’t make enough horseshoe nails, which in turn results in a domino effect of unfortunate events, until finally the kingdom is lost. Todd Rundgren wrote a great song around this poem, in which the chorus concludes... “The Devil’s in the details.”

Last Wednesday, I had one of those “Devil’s in the details” kind of days. I woke up bright and early (around 5 am) and hopped into the shower. While showering I recalled how th
e fan on my car’s heater stopped working the night before. I knew that this could spell trouble, especially since it was the coldest morning we've had this season. After showering I ran downstairs and looked out the window. It seemed that Old Jack Frost had paid my car a visit overnight. My Acura looked sugar coated, and it glimmered with the reflection of the Christmas lights that hung from the gutters above it.

I threw my coat on and ran outside, hoping to find the ice scraper that I always keep in the trunk of my car. It was about 20 degrees out that morning, and in an attempt to stay warm, I danced around and fumbled through the piles of junk in my trunk (yeah, yeah...I got junk in my trunk.) I couldn’t find the scraper anywhere. Next, I searched the garage, but still …no luck. I ran into the house and asked my wife (the finder of all things) if she knew where I might find an ice scraper.

“You know,” she said,
“It’s not going to jump out and grab you. You really have to take your time and look carefully.”

I told her that I didn’t have the time to look carefully, and that I was running very late. She then suggested that I use a blow dryer and melt the ice off the windshield. This sounded like a great idea.

I ran into the bathroom and grabbed a blow dryer and ran outside again. I unplugged the Christmas lights from the extension cord and plugged in the blow dryer. I then spent the next several minutes melting the beautiful geometric ice patterns that had formed on my windshield. I began to worry about how my actions might look to the neighbors. Here I was, standing in my driveway in the predawn hours, dancing around in a conductor's uniform, plugging and unplugging Christmas lights, while blow drying my car.

“What’s that noise?” A neighbor might ask.

(Now looking out the window)

“Oh, it’s just Bobby blow drying his car.”

“Who knew he owned a blowdryer?


Once the car was defrosted, I jumped in and drove down my winding country road, and the ice crystals began to form again. Somehow I found the highway, and sped down I-95 for the 20-mile ride to New Haven. When I arrived at the train yard, I was about 10 minutes late. As luck would have it, the first person I ran into was the trainmaster (supervisor).

“Running late?” He asked.

“A little,” I said.

I walked out to the train yard and climbed up the ladder into a Genesis Engine and gave my engineer a brake test. I then threw a two track switches and lined our train out of the yard. Once in the station, I boarded the passengers, closed the doors and gave the engineer the signal to proceed. I looked down at my watch…we were two minutes late.

I began collecting tickets, feeling a little exasperated by that mornings events, when a old Jamaican woman stopped me.

"Conductor!" She said,
"I have to tell you something."

I figured she was going to chew me out for the train leaving late.

"Come closer," she said.

I bent down so she could whisper in my ear.

"Your fly is down" she whispered.

I looked down and turned bright red. In all my haste that morning, I forgot to zipper the fly on my pants. Fortunately, unlike some pop stars, I was wearing underwear.

We experienced further delays on our run into the city that day. There were overhead wire problems, a disabled train in front of us, and slippery rail conditions due to the frost. When we finally arrived in Grand Central, we were six minutes late. Although the train was only a few minutes late, I wondered how the commuter’s lives might be affected by my want of an ice scraper. I let my imagination run wild and came up with a nursery rhyme of my own:

For want of an ice scraper, the train conductor was lost.
For want of a train conductor, a timely train was lost.
For want of a timely train, the CEO was lost.
For want of a CEO, a business deal was lost.
For want of a business deal, the merger was lost.
For want of a merger, a company was lost.
For want of a company, the stock market was lost
And all for want of an ice scraper.

The devils in the details.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope you bought a new ice scraper and made an appointment to have your heater fixed....that reminds me, my fan on the heater has been running a little funny too. Better call to make an appointment...wonder how long I'll procrastinate on that?

Jamie said...

You were really "flying by the seat of your pants" or was it "my, my,my, said the spider to the fly!
Bobby, the zipper down is always a concern when your approaching a customer at eye level!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE A VERY DEEP THINKER! iT IS ALWAYS ENJOYABLE TO READ YOUR MUSINGS!

Jeff said...

Ice Scrapers only work so well... you still gotta have heat to get the remaining residual frozen moisture.

Although i say the best way to rid your car of frost is to turn on your car and your heat, lock the door (if it's outside), run inside for about 10 minutes, and get in with an extra key.

Railroad Wife said...

Your blog is hilarious! My husband just spent his first week training as a passenger conductor. He'll love your blog. I'm putting it on favorites. Can't wait to show it to him when he gets home. I just put a link to your blog onto my blog.