Sunday, September 03, 2006
House of Wax
Wow! What a whirlwind day. This "Derailed" blog thing has really taken off. One of my readers invited me over to her estate on 42nd St. for a dinner party. I wasn't in the door more than two minutes when Larry King accosted me.
"Hey Conductor to the Stars!"
"What brings you here?"
"The lady who owns this joint reads my blog, I think her name is Madame Tussaud, anyway she says she loves my stuff and she invited me over to hobnob with "the beautiful people. "
"Well we're pleased to have you here. Ya know... I hear good things about 'Derailed.' I hear book deal. I hear movie deal."
"Yeah Larry...From your lips to God's ears."
"No, really! Woody and I were just talking about you. I think he has something in mind. You should go over and talk to him. He's sitting over there in the corner."
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained... I guess. Thanks Larry! Oh, by the way...You need a mint!"
"Woody...Woodman...Woodster! Woody, I love ya babe."
"Well then... you're the only one. Ever since the Soon-Yi thing, I've become a parhia at these parties. Yoko Ono gets a better reception than me!"
"Well then, I guess we'll have plenty of time to talk. Larry King tells me you're thinking of developing a project around "Derailed." Is that true?
"I'm very interested. In fact I was just trying to convince Robin Williams to portray you.
"Woodman, Ya know I love ya, but I really don't think Robin and I look anything alike.
I really have someone else in mind. Someone who can better capture my soul. Someone like...
"No really Sam. I think you'd be perfect for the part!
I wasn't at the party long when I started to hear people muttering things like: "That's HIM!" and "Conductor to the Stars" and "Movie deal." Before I knew it, I was surrounded.
"Julia baby, don't embarrass yourself. I'm a married man!"
"I'M HOT! Oh I bet you say that to all the boys."
"Wow, I must be hot. I even met Baby Suri."
"Baby, I don't know if 'Chicken of The Sea' is chicken or tuna either. What I do know... is that you'd be perfect as my wife (In the movie of course!) Have your girl call my girl. We'll do lunch!