Shrink Rap

No, I didn’t have Sigmund Freud on the train, but I do sometimes wonder what he would have to say about my obsession with celebrity.

I picture myself lying on a chaise lounge in his office while he sits in a chair, crossed legged with a cigar in one hand, ("sometimes a cigar is a just a cigar!") and a quill pen in the other. He begins to speak as he jots down some notes:

“Und celebrity obsession es very commune” he might say, “Und dis obsession inflates your male ego and makes you feel more important. Dis coupled vit da fact that you veren’t breastfed as un child explains it.”

“Wow Dr. Freud,” I might say, “ That makes a lot of sense. Now if you could only explain this recurring dream I have. Every night I dream of my train going into a tunnel...”